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let the political photoshopping begin...

so my friend sends me this pic of Sarah Palin that is floating around.
My first reaction is that it's photoshopped - one, because it's just too darn easy to do, and also, who wears their glasses to the pool? honestly.

How To Cheer Someone Up

Is anyone good at this? my only resort is to pass on jokes I have, or do funny voices. C. (the guy I like) is beset by yet another two crises, and I'm getting afraid to ask how he is, since he always answers, "shitty." I never know what to say. At first I ask if he wants to talk about it, and he would. But of course little miss perfectionist feels responsible if she can't bring someone out of their funk. Then again, when I was freaking out about my apartment thing no one could really do anything for me either. But damn I don't think I've ever met someone with so much drama going on in such a short time. He's aware this is karma cleanup but DAMN!

But in my vain attempt to bring humor, I did find some funny jokes:

* What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
* A Latin scholar walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a martinus." The bartender asks him. "Don't you mean martini?" The man tells the bartender, "Listen, if I wanted two or more drinks I would have asked for them."
* René Descartes is in a bar at closing time. The bartender asks him if he'd like another drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and he disappears.
* A guy walks into a bar in Cork, in Ireland, and asks the barman: "What's the quickest way to get to Dublin?" "Are you walking or driving?" asks the barman. "Driving," says a man. "That's the quickest way," says the barman.
* A young Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the bartender. The Texan replies, "About what?"
I can't decide if he got someone's ass fat injected into his cheeks in a last ditch attempt to look young or his face just finally collapsed when he ran out of young boys to suck blood from...

I'm dating someone.
I like him.
Things are going slow, which is good.
Things external to us derailed thigngs a few times (Darby, the man I was with for six years, said he "wasnt' ready" to see me when I was in CA two weeks ago for a conference and that threw me into closure, and this guy's ex, a girl he was ready to marry over a year ago but he broke up with because he didnt' want to come in fourth after her career, family and friends, came back into town and hit him up with a bunch of yucchy "closure" as well).
So finally we're in sort of the same space and we're hanging out and having fun. What do I do? start picking on stuff that isn't there because I am scared of getting close to someone (even if things aren't at all serious yet, he's someone I could like so the fear is there). He moved me into my new apartment this weekend, and even told me he "enjoyed himself alot" moving me (how often do you hear that?) but even though that was a really nice thing to do I found something to pick on him about anyway. He called me on it, said he "felt underappreciated" (and rightly so!). I was going to take him out for brunch afterwards but it took longer than we thought so we didn't have time.

I have been freaking out about finding a place to live for the last month - only finding one at the last minute on Friday. i had to move out of the place I was in - new roommate was coming in. it's not an excuse, but it's an explanation for not having a good emotional buffer (that I have started to develop,yay!)

as a sorry and a thank you, I am going to give him some fancy gourmet chocolate bars. and i'm going to include a pretty card and an apology in it. Something like, "You got so excited when i gave you the dark chocolate raisins the other day, so I thought this would be a nice way to say THANK YOU for moving me on Sunday. And also to apologize for my behavior lately - i picked on you undeservedly, and I don't want to push away something that is good and fun. I hope you can accept my apology and i hope you REELY like chocolate." Charlene

I'm really getting sick of this flailing. of myself. But at least the time between when I get scared and when I realize I'm behaving from fear are getting shorter. Actually, this time I even felt myself on the phone with him, thinking, "hang up Charlene, you are fried and in a mood and you are going to say something out of stress and fear that you shouldn't." but I said it anyway.

So, whatever happens happens. At least I'm looking it as a learnign experience and not an opportunity for crucifixion (line to the left, one cross each).

new york update

oh man! have I been incredibly lax in updating here!
It's apt though, as I kind of feel now that since I am in MY OWN NEW YORK APARTMENT (more on that in a minute) that I can finally get thigns started. When I was subletting I kind of felt like I was in a holding pattern...especially the last place...i had a roommate and she never let me forget it was HER PLACE. No matter. I am in a magical little apartment on the Upper West Side - it is a one bedroom and although it is a ludicrous amount of money by anyone's standards, I got a STEAL in NY - and all utilities are included too! AND my hair behaves well in the water here. WOO HOO!
So, now that the housing is under control, I can get to figuring out why I'm here in New York and what to do next. I think this will be the FALL OF FLUFF. I'm going to try to get into one of the Flea Markets out here!
oh man it's 2:48 i need to sleep!
more soon!
Do NOT try to upgrade your iPhone firmware to 2.0 unless you want to rend and tear your flesh.
Here's what will happen:
1. It will download the 2.0 software.
2. It will install it on your iPhone.
3. Your iPhone will attempt to connect to iTunes to authorize/complete the upgrade.
4. IT WILL STALL BECAUSE THE SYSTEM IS COMPLETELY OVERLOADED BY EVERYONE UPGRADING TO 3G PHONE, AND IN THE MEANTIME, YOUR PHONE REMAINS IN A "LOCKED" AND UNUSABLE STATE.

******guess who did this already????***************
I thought i'd avoid the whole 3G mess by just upgrading my current phone and ended up getting reamed by Apple bad planning anyway (proxy reamed?)

SO BE PATIENT AND WAIT UNTIL THE MESS IS OVER!!!
So I'm walking home from my afternoon run, when I see this black dude taking a leak against a tree, right on the sidewalk ahead of me. he's havng a chat with his friend, and appears not only sober but not at all crazy. I kind of shake my head as I walk by, and his friend calls me "cracker" but then the dude says, "NO BUTT."

If a black dude thinks i have no butt, then my butt must be smaller than I thought it was, woo hoo!!

to the men

You know I started writing this big poetic and sappy post about men i loved and loved me back, men who couldn't love me, men who I didn't love back. But why not just put it out there?
Being rejected SUCKS.
Rejecting someone SUCKS.
Trying to be friends with someone who rejected you sometimes HURTs (even though you know they were wrong for you anyway).
Trying to be friends with someone whom you ended a long relationship with is hard. You wish you could be close with them but after a while you both just kind of move on with your lives and although you know that's what's right it still hurts because you remember how close you were before. (obviously i talked to D from California this week). I've watched two men I've loved deeply move on to get married (each within a year) after I ended things with them, and I'm still single. This usually doesn't bother me. I've been so focused on my career, and figuring out who I am and what I want in life (all fine things to be figuring out). But sometimes I wonder if I coudln't have been doign the figuring with either of them. Well, maybe not the first one, he was a cocky arrogant ass. Well maybe not the second one, he wanted a normal life. I wanted a life of adventure, and mystery, and leaping without a net, and risks, and strangers, and weird foods, and weird people, and New York. And now I have that. So maybe now I want intimacy too. and cupcakes.
This is my first official post as a NEW YORK RUNNER! WOO HOO!

I have a sprained ankle that actually feels BETTER when I walk on it, worse when I am off it for hours. Anyone ever have this?

here's what happened: I live in a place that has high front stairs as it is, and they took the stone off the top of one to be replaced. I was walking down the steps yesterday on the way out for a run, and I don't know if i misjudged it or whatever but BAM my ankle turned on my way down. After the requisite MOTHER F*&*ER language, I sat down for a minute to recover. Oddly enough, it hurt a little, but I could still walk on it. I DESPERATELY wanted some exercise so I decided to still go out for at least a walk. After ten minutes of walking, it felt...ok.
I gingerly did a few steps of jogging...still ok.
So, I decided unless it started hurting more, i'd do my intended workout. I did it - and more! Had a nice wearing out of the craftyredhead and came home. I was pooped, ate some lunch, and took a nap. When I awoke several hours later - it hurt! I thought ok, I guess i did overdo it. I iced it while I was around the house, and put an ACE brace on it when I walked around a bit on a date last night. Again, it didn't feel too bad!
So I get up this morning, and BAM it hurts again!! I ice it, treat it gingerly again, but I have things i HAVE TO DO, so I limp around on it. Surprisingly, the more I walk on it, the better it feels!

Anyone else ever have this odd kind of sprain? If it helps, the place where it hurts is not around the main ankle bone - but go forward about two inches, the other bone that sticks out on the inside of your foot (not sure what it's called). That is a little swollen.

HELP ME NAME MY BIZ!

I'm having a devil of a time naming my consulting biz - the part where I am writing and doing SEO...(graphic design is studiomoodle.com)

what do you think about:

smart mouth consulting

It's not too cutesy, and even though it does have a "smart ass" connotation - it does describe what's coming out of my head...

love it? hate it? what do you think?